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Sounds Page

All sounds are in .WAV format.



Dave: I spent-I spent half of high school playing Stargate Defender. Two solid years.

Mr. James: Two years? Well, you must have been pretty good, what was your best score?

Dave: 1,248,500 March 7th 1983.



Dave: Excuse me? Listen, if you are insinuating that I am a spy, or that any member of my family is a spy then you're way off base. Look, just because we're Canadian does not mean we are spies!



Matthew: Mr. James.

Mr. James: Present!

Matthew: Buttafuco.

Mr. James: Well, Buttafuco to you too Matthew. If you had said it that way then maybe we wouldn't have lost two sponsors this morning.

Matthew: Oh my God!



Lisa: I have decided to retake the SATs.

Dave: Good for you. I'm trying out for the drama club!



Beth: Internet?

Matthew: Yeah.

Beth: Internot!



Matthew: Oh wow, look at that, Dave was in the chess club.

Beth: Why would you put chess club on your resume?

Matthew: I know, it just rubs it in to all the people who couldnít get into the chess club.




Dave: Not only am I a laughingstock but no one will be my assistant, except for Matthew, which doesn't work because he likes to improvise.



Mr. James: Poor, misguided freak.



Bill: Go ahead, laugh it's your nature.

Dave: Allright, are you done Bill?

Bill: Why, you have to recharge your robot powerpack?



Dave: I can't believe the rain hasn't washed you into the gutter with all the other scum.



Dave: Wait a minute Joe, if what you're saying is true, then I still donít care.



Bill (shouting): Pretty! PRET-TY, like me!



Beth: No, my parents let me watch The Wizard of Oz when I was five years old and it gave me nightmares for years.

Dave: Oh right, the wicked witch.

Beth. No, Dorothy. For years I was convinced that a house was going to fall out of the sky and crush me and then some farm girl would come along and steal my flashy red shoes.



Mr. James: You poor misguided Canadian bastard.



Dave: Hear me well. As of today a new Dave is born. A new Dave who, for a lack of a better phrase, is (pause) pure evil.